PROBLEM
Leaking accordion gaskets
cause excess sludging and sticky keys and buttons when
associated with polka sausage emissions, cigarette smoke
and Elk Snore beer evaporation in crowded areas. This also
causes wheezing and sputters, and can make the accordion
croak like an old folks home. This is due to the
instrument inhaling polluted, toxic
polkoxides.
REPAIR INSTRUCTIONS
To correct this, employ the
Penskover gasket, Part number #XZ20200221.
Repairs are made as follows:
Open the unit by separating
the Bellows unit from the button box and key housing.
Use a butter knife from an
old Lutheran church basement for this procedure. The knife
has lots of whole butter and Lutefisk grease impelled into
the steel from many years of Christmas Church dinners,
which makes it slipperier than Teflon.
Grasp the knife, and have an
Elksnore.
Separate the sludged gaskets
and clean the mating surfaces with a clean lint free cloth
soaked in JagerMeister.
NOTE:
Employ the use of an old surplus Eastern Block military
gas mask for protection from gaseous fumes and odors from
the interior of the accordion. These emissions are
comprised of Elksnore beer and polka sausage emissions,
body odor, bowling alley polish, Sani-spray from rented
bowling shoes, Italian sausage pizza and sauerkraut and
cheap perfume. They can be deadly, causing lengthy
episodes of euphoria and dancing.
Remove the gasket, and glue
residue and let the mating surfaces dry.
Remember Ray Stolzenberg's
suggestion: Do not drink JagerMeister used to remove glue
residue. Discard cloth immediately.
Grease the new gasket with
plenty of polka sausage residue, from your next polka
festival.
Apply the new gasket to both
mating ends of the bellows, key and button assembly, and
let dry thoroughly. After reassembly test play your
rebuilt accordion. Watch for white smoky emissions that
smell like the aforementioned gaseous material, or
residual sausage squeezing. If the emissions are clear,
and the wheezing has stopped, play a few rounds of "Roll
Out The Barrel" for break in. Should additional wheezing
be noted, apply a light spray of Primatene mist Bronc-aids
or other over the counter asthma remedy. Enjoy and Elk
Snore, with plenty of old video clips of Frankie Yankovic
or Jimmy Jensen the swinging Swede.
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