WASHINGTON - It used to be common for
men and women to get a marriage certificate not too long
after collecting their high school diploma. Not anymore.
Census Bureau figures for 2003 show one-third of men and
nearly one-quarter of women between the ages of 30 and
34 have never been married, nearly four times the rates
in 1970.
It's further evidence young people are
focusing on education and careers before settling down
and beginning families, experts say. Societal taboos about
couples living together before marriage also have eased,
said Linda Waite, a University of Chicago sociologist.
Jeni Landers, a 30-year-old law student
from Boston, said she considers living together a requirement
before saying "I do."
"I don't know how people got married
before living together first," said Landers, who
moved in with her fiance after getting engaged nearly
a year ago. "This is crucial to see how you get along."
Data from the Census Bureau's Current
Population Survey released this week show the age at which
someone typically marries for the first time rose from
20.8 for women and 23.2 for men in 1970 to 25.3 and 27.1,
respectively, last year.
In 1970, only 6 percent of women 30 to
34 had never been married; the figure was 23 percent in
2003. The rate for never-married men in the same age group
rose from 9 percent to 33 percent.
Among younger women, some 36 percent of
those 20 to 24 had never been married in 1970; last year
it was 75 percent. Among men in that age group, the change
was nearly as dramatic: 55 percent in 1970 to 86 percent
last year.
"The majority of people still want
to get married, but they see it sort of as dessert now,
something that's desirable rather than necessary,"
said Dorion Solot, executive director of the Albany, N.Y.-based
Alternatives to Marriage Project, which aims to fight
discrimination based on marital status and to seek equality
and fairness for unmarried people.
"People want to be more sure that
they don't make a marriage mistake," Solot said.
Societal Pressures
Meanwhile, societal pressures
to marry before having children have decreased, said Thomas
Coleman, executive director for the Glendale, Calif.-based
Unmarried America, which also promotes equality for unmarried
people. Among the group's concerns are tax policies which
it contends are stacked against single people.
In 2003, nearly 35 percent of all births
were to unmarried women, according to the National Center
for Health Statistics. That's up from 11 percent in 1970,
though the rate of increase has slowed since 1995, when
32 percent of births were out-of-wedlock. Births to unmarried
teens have declined since the mid-1990s.
Meaghan Lamarre, 24, a research assistant
in Providence, R.I., said she and her boyfriend of 10
months "are not in a big hurry to marry." Lamarre's
focus is on work and getting into an Ivy League graduate
program, possibly in public policy.
"There's no time frame of when to
get married.... It's not a goal," said Lamarre, an
Alternatives to Marriage Project member. "I'm not
opposed to it, but I think I could live happily ever after
without being married."
That kind of talk disturbs David Blankenhorn,
president of the Institute for American Values, a New
York-based pro-marriage organization. Blankenhorn says
Lamarre's philosophy is more of a concern to him than
those who delay marriage to focus on school or a career.
Compared with 1970, Blankenhorn said,
"There is a sense that marriage has a less dominant
role in our society and is less influential as a social
institution."
Having parents or family members who are
divorced may also make some people in their 20s and 30s
hesitant about entering into a long-term relationship,
said Dennis Lowe, a Pepperdine University psychology professor
who focuses on counseling for engaged and married couples.
National Center for Health Statistics
data show the U.S. divorce rate was 2.2 per 1,000 Americans
in 1960; it rose steadily to 5.3 per 1,000 in 1981 but
has declined slowly since then to 4 per 1,000 in 2001.
Census figures also show fewer Americans
at older ages who have never been married. In 1970, 8
percent of people 65 and older never had married; now
it's 4 percent.
Landers, the Boston law student, said
living with her fiance is a "testing period"
as both deal with school and their careers. "We already
knew what we had was concrete, but the actual act of getting
engaged holds a lot of weight with a lot of other people,"
she said.
Now there's pressure to set a wedding
date, though Landers said there's no immediate plan to
do so.
"It drives people crazy," she
said.
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